With pain comes love and love comes pain
by Rollaro
Summary: This takes place after "Spousal Privilege" rollaro!
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys so it's otakunerdrollarofanlamb4lifeshithead94 here! With a new rollaro fanfic and I'm sure it won't be shitty- I think. Anyways this takes place after "Spousal Privilege"! Enjoy!

Amanda's p.o.v

I saw nick pouring the coffee into his cup. I feel so stupid. A-after everything. My drunken stupidity. W-what got into me? I looked up at Nick and I decided to join in getting a cup of coffee for myself. Hopefully not to embarrass myself. I put on a fake smile pouring myself a cup looking at him on my right smiling letting my mouth say a small but firm "Hi"

"Hi." He says emotion filled in his eyes of pity and hurt at the same time. He makes his way to Olivia coming into the room almost pretending as if I wasn't there anymore but just a memory. It hurt. It's killing me inside knowing that I can't fix this. No matter what i can do.

My smile soon fades and I tense my shoulders seeing him turn away. It cut deep inside of me seeing his eyes. His beautiful eyes oh how I wish I could make them happy. How I can see his smile and hear his laugh and protect him. But it feels as if now he's a stray dog in the streets with his owner trying to find him. The owner as in me. I'm trying to find a way to him to were he will listen to me. And maybe- just maybe talk things out. I look at him conversations with Olivia and with just one glance of the eye felt devastating. This is going to be a long day.

~ end of the day ~

Nicks p.o.v

I kept taking quick glances at Amanda every time when she wasn't looking through out the whole day. It's killing me that I can't save the day today- nor her heart. I admit I wanted to avoid her yet I felt as she needed me. Me to care for her. But maybe she needed sometime.

After all that's why I acted careless this morning but I did care. The night before was horrid. I never seen her like that before. I always thought I was living with a angel. But last night I found out that she was most flawed as ever. She had always been but, last night was different.

But after seeing her like this light a fire inside of me. Finding out that I wasn't so perfect as well. We still need each other after we stumble and fall though. We both know our heart is breaking and we learn from our mistakes.

I take a quick glance at her one more time finding that she was also glancing at me. Shit. Her icy blue eyes met with my chocolate brown eyes. From that moment on I felt an isolation. I couldn't stop staring. I soon realized that we were staring at each other that we could've broke the Guinness world record for a staring contest.

I blinked and looked down rubbing the back of my neck. She quickly shifted her head to the left after seeing me break the ice. Her eyes cut my insides. I could see her eyes filled with sorrow and pain. The bags under her eyes showed that she hadn't had a good night sleep as well. I felt my stomach churning yet I tried not to show any signs of side affects from emotions that moment on.

"Amaro get a good nights rest- you need it. You too Amanda- you look stressed out." Olivia said observing us. D-did she see our stare down? I felt 40 percent embarrassed yet 60 percent relieved.

Amanda was the one who needed it the most. It was clearly visible. The whole day she's been acting half dead after the first 2 hours of the day. I nodded at Olivia's request.

"I-I'm fine." Amanda said with her head down and fingers clenching her hair in a fist looking at Olivia with signs of fatigue.

"Don't play with me rollins you look worned out." Olivia chuckled. I couldn't agree any better.

"I'm fine Sargent." Amanda said. I looked at my computer screen pretending to not acknowledge the conversation between the two.

"That wasn't a request amanda. Plus we have a big day tomorrow. Chief Dodds had arranged a meeting for me so I'm putting both of you on overtime." Olivia said firmly.

"W-what about Fin?" Amanda stuttered concernedly. "Isn't he going to be working overtime?" She asked with wordiness in her voice.

"He's on vacation with his son for the current event, and I'm doing double duty as mama bear benson." She curved her lips into a soft smile. On the other hand Amanda was looking scared as ever and I know why.I'm going to be her substitute partner.

Oh boy was I sure as hell nervous as well. Tomorrow was going to a night that will comeback to get us.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys it's me again! ^~^ I know you've been waiting cx! Anyways if you want follow me on tumblr brainwxshing! Anyways on with the show!

Amanda's p.o.v

I look at Nick caressing his cheek kissing his soft gentle lips. He soon grabs my waist moving his lips downwards to the nape of my neck. I soon tug on his torso letting a soft moan out. I soon feel something wrong. I feel nick crying on my shoulder hugging me tightly. He looks up at me teary eyed and pained with his brown eyes and his face showing clear signs of sorrow. The face he made hurt me so much as if I can feel his pain spilling all over the place. I never seen Nick like this so vulnerable. I hug him hard but I couldn't speak. I just couldn't. I couldn't even open my mouth. It's like it was glued tight. He soon starts disappearing in my arms and finally I scream for him to come back. He doesn't. He won't. He can't.

- alarm clock beeps -

I scream waking up hearing my alarm clock after the vivid dream. I pant and look at my surroundings. I felt as if I was about to cry that very second. I soon look at the time. 6:00- shit I'll be late. I soon do my daily routine and finally I ran outside of my apartment sprinting to my car. I soon start the engine but I feel different.

Going to work without Nick felt empty. Nick. Oh how I wish I could caress him and hold him. How he can forgive me and how we can love each other. That is if he loves me anymore. I feel my face getting hot remembering that he will have to be my partner for the rest of the day. If only I hadn't gotten into the case so much. I start the engine remembering his smile and I feel my eyes swelling up.

I soon reach the precinct pulling over and parallel parking. I soon close the door and put the keys in my pocket. I run into the double doors. Just on time.

I see Nick turning his head at me with a faint smile. I feel my face getting hot and I try to smile back- but I couldn't. It looked more like a grimace than a smile. I remember the dream still vividly. His crying eyes. The soft kisses. I couldn't bare it. I needed something to get my mind off him. I looked down walking to my desk and I looked up at Olivia.

"Morning Sargent. What's our case?" I asked Olivia who seemed in a rush. She handed me papers in a glossy folder that had luster.

"Sorry Amanda I'm just in a rush. I have so many things going on my mind. Make sure you tell Amaro about the case. I have to go." Olivia said heading out the door.

"Good luck." She left without even looking at us with a straight face.

Soon Nick gets up heading his direction towards my desk and I feel my brain getting all jumbled up. Don't worry Amanda. This job isn't about you- it's about the victim and giving them justice. Just do your job and you'll be alright.

"Morning Amanda." Nick said softly. Shit. He used my first name.

-Nicks p.o.v-

I saw Amanda walk in and I felt nervous. How was this day going to end up. In a fight? In a cluster? In love? I sighed slightly so she wouldn't see and I soon gave her a faint smile. I hope that was enough to at least show her I'm not mad anymore. But it seemed like she didn't get the message and looked down as if she were trying to avoid eye contact.

I soon see her and Liv talking about the case and I decide to approach her. Try not to disrupt her though Okay Nick? I go up to Amanda with a normal face.

"Morning Amanda." I say noticing that I used her first name. I blush in my mind. She looks up at me with a fake smile.

"Morning Nick." She says with a fake smile.

"So- what's our case about." I ask trying to break the awkwardness.

"I don't know I didn't view it yet." She says in a low tone opening the glossy folder. I put my hands on my sides watching her reading the case and she finally stops and reads me the case.

"Uptown manhattan a rapist is on the loose targeting victims as small as 16 years to 20. He targets the young women with hourglass figures, curvy and hair color varies. He has raped 5 girls overall and uses a nick name for each one that connects to princesses. Snow White,Ariel, Cinderella, Tiana and Belle. Looks like this guy is a Disney fan. His last victim was 'Snow white' aka Dana Cipriano and she was raped at Union square. She's located at 36th street house 9016 Yardwalk road. ( notice the fake address lol -writer) We need to talk to her according to Liv and interview her about her- you know." Amanda looked up at me. I nodded in agreement.

"We need to catch the perp right? Let's go." I grabbed my coat and she grabbed hers and we went outside taking the local car. I opened the door for her and she smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I smiled back and headed into the drivers seat.

It wasn't such a long ride and it took 20 minutes. Lucky since it's New York City.

I admit the whole time we were awkward and it wasn't such a pleasant ride. I kept honking at other people and yelling at the stupid taxi in front of me who wouldn't budge a bit. But it got us to our destination faster. Amanda just kept looking at her phone the whole time and the folder. I felt her glancing at me and at times I felt heat rising above my neck.

"We're here." I say pulling up. It was a nice house for a manhattan area. Wasn't to shabby. We got out of the car and ring the bell of the medium sized house. Soon a small elderly woman approached the door and smiled at us.

"Hello. Is there something wrong?" She asked in a sweet voice.

"Uh yes I'm afraid so ma'am we just need to talk to Dana Cipriano. I-is she here?" Amanda asked gently.

"Ah si. Dana!" She called turning around to the house. Soon a girl about 17, that had short black hair and brown eyes came running down the stairs in a hoodie and jeans.

"Si Nona?" She said looking at her grandma then at us.

"La polizia vuole chiedere qualcosa." She told the girl.

"Grazie Nona. Lo prendo da qui." She smiled and soon the grandma turned around and went back into her home. She turned to us with a worried face.

"A-are you here about the dog next door. He bit me a few times but it's my grandma I'm worried about." She said innocently.

"Uh Dana that's not what we're here for. We need to talk about your- rape." I said as soothing as I can but it seemed like the sentence cracked at the pause after saying the word 'rape'.

"Oh my god." She said almost bursting into tears. "H-how do you know? Please don't let my grandma know she has a weak heart she'll worry over me to much." She said tears swelling up in her eyes looking up at me.

"Honey don't worry we just need you to come to the precinct with us for some questions and a rape kit. That's all." Amanda said in a steady tone gently placing a hand on top of her arm.

"N-no I can't. Nona would be worried and if I go she'd be suspicious." She said with cracks in her voice.

"You're grandma will have to know somehow." I said.

"No she can't! She can't never ever!" Dana said with sobs in between. Eventually her Nona came to the door seeing Dana in tears.

"What happened here?" She said asking worriedly and hugging Dana protectively.

"W-we just need Dana to come to the precinct to ask her some questions miss." I said tentatively.

"W-why? Something happened to la mia bambina?" Nona asked upset.

"Nona it's alright they were just leaving anyways." Dana said reassuring her mother that everything will be alright.

"H-hold on bambina. W-what happened." The Grandmother asked her granddaughter with wordiness in her fragile voice.

"Nothing. Everything is fine." Dana said huffed out with her eyes puffy.

"Miss your daughter was-" Amanda said interrupted by Dana

"STOP. I-I mean no! Don't tell her please." Dana said breaking into tears again.

"Cara cosa è successo?!" Nona asked in a worried voice.

"I-I can't tell you." Dana said breaking down into her grandmothers arms. She sobbed sniffing and cried out.

"I-I was raped." She said with emotion.

"Gentile Signore Gesù! Perché non me l'hai detto prima?!" Her grandmother asked tearing up.

"I-I didn't want you to worry." Dana said panting.

"Well better then than now. I could've helped you cope! The police would help you catch the bad man!" The grandmother cried out.

"That's why we are here. We need you're granddaughter to come with us to the precinct and ask her some questions about the case and perform a following rape kit for DNA results of the perpetrator." Amanda said firmly.

"Of course. Whatever it takes to lock up the bad man!" The grandmother said grabbing both their coats. "I must go as well!"

"Of course." I said.

"Miss Mariano and Cipriano please take a seat here." I said leading the two women to the room.

It took fifteen minutes to get all we needed from Dana to get a profile. We have reached a suspect named Nathan Blanche. A thirty year old charged with assault of a police officer. Brown hair,hazel eyes, Caucasian and 6'5. Works at a disney store in time square. Fits our profile to a T.

"Let's pick him up." Amanda said to me. I nodded. I grabbed my coat and Amanda beat me to the car first driving and she looked at me. I smiled at her. My first real smile of today. She breathed in heavy but finally let out a smile similar to mine but quite smaller. Either way though I felt as if she really meant it as well. She soon turned her eyes back on the road and pulled up in front of a disney store crowded. Great.

She soon signaled me on the guy. The perp looked horribly disgusting giving smug looks to the teenage girls. I soon called him out.

"Nathan Weasel?" I said approaching him and Amanda right behind him.

"We're going on a road trip and it ain't to disney world." Amanda said cuffing him.

"W-what? What is the meaning of this?!" He yelled out.

"You heard her. You're under arrest for the rape of Dana Cipriano and god knows who else." I soon read him his Miranda rights shortly after and put him in the car.

"Give it up Nathan we already got evidence of you at the crime scene. 12:56 pm Yardwalk road in the alley located between the cleaners and pizzeria you raped Dana Cipriano." Amanda said disgustedly circling around the predator.

"I don't even know who the hell that girl is! I swear I didn't rape anybody." He said clearly faking.

"C'mon Nate. You don't remember Snow White?" I asked him.

"S-Snow White? Oh yes. I do remember her. She was wearing a green laced dress. She was heading out so late. Her Prince Charming couldn't come to save her so I saved her giving her vigorous love. I reassured her I can be her Prince Charming." He said in a daze. Amanda looked up at me giving me a look saying that this guy is surely mentally I'll.

"Ah so you had to be there to protect her right?" Amanda asked more softly.

"Yes. I love her of course." He said with a different calmer tone.

"What about the others? Ariel, Cinderella, Tiana and Belle?" Amanda asked in a interested tone.

"Ah them. Well I surely am their prince charming as well. I am everybody's prince." He said happily.

"So you're polyramous?" I asked with a tincture of annoyance in my voice.

"I guess you can say that. But I love all of my princesses equally and give them pleasure whenever I can." He said dreamily. He soon looked up at Amanda and then at me.

"Is he your Prince Charming miss?" He asked Amanda smiling and innocently. I soon felt astonished and hot waiting for Amanda to answer.

"That's none of your business." She replied bluntly.

"Well I think he would make a good partner for you." He said in a gaze. I saw Amanda swallow and look at me and I saw embarrassment in her eyes. I felt embarrassed to but I tried not to show it. I soon left the room in need for air. She watched me leave and looked at Nathan.

"So tell me Nathan- where did you find the other princesses?"

EW EW EW IM SORRY THIS CHAPTER IS HORRIBLE ALL THAT TIME FOR THIS. GOSH IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF. anyways I hoped you enjoyed this garbage. Shudder. I usually do better than this what the hell? Anyways rate review comment all that shit and whatever


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